Applying Improv Principles to Raise Resilient Kids with Jason Miller

Applying Improv Principles to Raise Resilient Kids

In the ever-evolving journey of parenting, finding innovative ways to connect with and nurture our children is paramount. One such approach that has proven to be both effective and enjoyable is the application of improv principles. I had the pleasure of meeting Jason Miller, an executive coach, facilitator, trainer, and improviser, who has seamlessly integrated improv into his parenting journey. His experiences offer valuable insights into how these principles can help raise resilient kids.

Jason's journey with improv began in the mid-2000s when he fell in love with it as a facilitator and trainer. However, it wasn't until a few years ago that he realized the profound impact improv could have on his parenting. His daughter, then five or six years old, had a tendency to catastrophize every situation. Whether it was going for ice cream or visiting the park, she would always focus on the negative aspects. This behavior concerned Jason, as he wanted her to experience joy and positivity. It was then that he remembered an improv game called "Fortunately, Unfortunately." The game involves one person saying something positive, followed by the other person responding with something negative, and then switching roles. Jason introduced this game to his daughter, and it quickly became a favorite. By reframing her negative thoughts through play, she started to see things more positively.

Improv has also helped Jason connect with his children on a deeper level. His 12-year-old son, who loves theater, took to improv immediately. He enjoys story-based games like "One Word at a Time," where they create a story together, one word at a time. This game not only fosters creativity but also strengthens their bond as they collaborate and laugh together. On the other hand, Jason's older son, who is more reserved, prefers games that don't make him look silly. He enjoys "Gibberish Poet," where they make up gibberish words and definitions, allowing him to express himself without feeling self-conscious.

One of the most valuable lessons Jason has learned from improv is the importance of presence. Improv requires you to be fully present in the moment, accepting whatever comes your way. This principle has helped Jason become a better listener and more attentive parent. When his children come to him with their interests, whether it's rap music or opera, he treats their words as offers and responds with curiosity and acceptance. This approach has allowed him to understand their passions and connect with them on a deeper level.

Another key principle of improv is "Yes, and..." This technique involves accepting what the other person says and building on it. In parenting, this means acknowledging your child's feelings and experiences and then adding to them in a positive way. For example, when Jason's son expressed interest in auditioning for a community theater production, his initial reaction was to protect him from potential disappointment. However, Jason realized that improv isn't about shielding them from failure but encouraging them to explore and expand their horizons. He supported his son through the audition process, and he successfully landed a role.

Improv has also taught Jason the importance of making your partner look good. In parenting, this translates to lifting your children up and giving them the most gracious response possible. Whether it's through praise, encouragement, or simply listening, this principle helps create a positive and supportive environment for kids.

Of course, there are moments when Jason doesn't get it right. When he's tired or frustrated, he sometimes snaps at his children or asserts his authority unnecessarily. However, reflecting on these moments and applying improv principles helps him course-correct and improve his interactions with them.

In conclusion, improv has had a profound impact on Jason's parenting journey. It has helped him become more present, attentive, and supportive. By turning everyday moments into play, he has been able to connect with his children in meaningful ways and foster a positive environment for their growth. If you're a parent looking for new ways to engage with your kids, I highly recommend exploring improv principles. Treat it like an experiment, have fun with it, and watch how it transforms your parenting experience.

Improv Parenting: Embracing Playfulness and Presence - Benjamin Lloyd

Improv Parenting: Embracing Playfulness and Presence

In the world of parenting, where every day can feel like a high-stakes performance, Benjamin Lloyd offers a refreshing perspective: treat it like improv. Ben, who runs bxlloyd consulting, uses the power of play and applied improvisation to support extraordinary teams, groups, and communities. But his insights are just as valuable for parents, caregivers, and educators looking to connect with kids on a deeper level.

The Art of Equal Interaction

One of Ben's core principles is treating children as equals. "I don't assume that they're not equal to me in any way," he says. This approach fosters genuine curiosity and authentic connections. Kids can sense when adults are being insincere, and Ben believes that speaking to them as equals can lead to more meaningful interactions. He recalls his own childhood, recognizing the insincerity in adults' tones and feeling disconnected because of it.

Context is Key

Ben emphasizes the importance of context in interactions with children. Whether he's teaching a class or playing at the park, his approach varies based on the situation. In a teaching context, goals might include preserving a safe space, gathering attention around an idea, or ensuring everyone's inclusion. In more casual settings, it's about listening and discovering what interests the child. Ben finds that genuine curiosity and authentic connections are more effective than any sing-songy, insincere tone.

The Power of 'Yes, And'

The improv principle of "Yes, And" has influenced Ben's parenting, though he acknowledges it's not always applicable. "Yes, And" encourages acceptance and building on what others offer, but sometimes, for safety and consistency, parents need to set boundaries. Ben finds it works better with older kids, where discussions about conduct and communication can benefit from this approach. He shares an example of balancing respect for his child's privacy with the need to protect them.

Balancing Safety and Agency

Parenting often involves balancing the need to protect children with giving them the agency to grow. Ben shares that this balance is a fundamental challenge, not just an improv question. He believes that while improv can support parenting, it's essential to acknowledge that sometimes parents will lose their temper or need to enforce rules strictly. He emphasizes the importance of unpacking these moments and learning from them.

The Journey of Letting Go

Ben's personal journey with improv coincided with significant changes in his family life, including his child's transition. Improv taught him to let go of the need to control outcomes and be present in the moment. This lesson was particularly valuable as he navigated his child's transition and his other child's struggles with addiction. Ben shares that letting go of control is an arduous but essential journey for parents.

Creating a Playful Home

Ben and his ex-wife, both professional actors, created an imaginative and playful home environment for their children. From pretend football games to Beauty and the Beast improvs, they encouraged creativity and playfulness. He believes that this playful approach helped his children become extraordinary listeners and companions. He emphasizes the importance of modeling presence and attentiveness for children.

Mindfulness and Emotional Awareness

Improv has also helped Lloyd develop mindfulness and emotional awareness. By being present and delaying emotional responses, he found he could handle challenging encounters more effectively. This mindfulness training, he believes, has been beneficial in both his personal and professional life. Ben shares that improv helped him avoid catastrophizing and stay present in difficult moments.

The Essential Lesson

If he could offer advice to his younger parenting self, it would be to let go of the need to control. Parenting is an arduous journey, but the essential lesson is to be present and accept the reality of each moment. This approach, he believes, leads to more meaningful and transformative experiences. Ben's mother, a practicing Buddhist, reminds us: "This very moment is always the occasion."

Conclusion

Ben's insights into parenting through the lens of improv offer valuable lessons for parents, caregivers, and educators. By treating children as equals, balancing safety and agency, and being present in the moment, we can create more authentic and playful connections with the kids in our lives. 

You can learn more about Benjamin and his work at: www.bxlloyd.com

Parenting with Improv: Embracing Playfulness and Empathy With Carrie Blubaugh

Parenting with Improv: Embracing Playfulness and Empathy

In the world of parenting, where every day brings new challenges and opportunities, the art of improvisation offers a refreshing and transformative approach. Carrie Blubaugh, a seasoned physical therapist and improv performer, shares her journey of how improv has revolutionized her parenting style. With over a decade of experience in improv, Carrie has discovered valuable lessons that can benefit parents, caregivers, and educators alike.

Carrie’s journey into improv began at the age of 45, when she decided to take a leap of faith and join an improv class. Despite her initial nerves and doubts, she persevered and found herself embracing the world of improv. This experience not only enriched her personal life but also had a profound impact on her parenting style.

One of the key lessons Carrie learned from improv is the importance of empathy and active listening. She recalls a time when her daughter wanted to join a dance class but was nervous because her friends had already been attending for a few months. Instead of acknowledging her daughter’s feelings, Carrie found herself offering toxic positivity, dismissing her daughter’s concerns with well-intentioned but unhelpful reassurances. It wasn’t until Carrie experienced similar nerves before her first improv class that she realized the importance of validating her daughter’s feelings.

Improv also taught Carrie the power of “Yes, And.” This fundamental principle of improv encourages acceptance and collaboration, rather than blocking or dismissing ideas. Carrie applied this principle to her parenting by creating a safe space for her daughter to express her feelings and concerns. She learned to acknowledge her daughter’s emotions and build on them, rather than dismissing them outright.

A poignant example of this came when Carrie’s daughter wanted to attend a Kanye West concert with her friends. Concerned about the safety and appropriateness of the event, Carrie initially said no. However, instead of simply shutting down the conversation, she engaged in a dialogue with her daughter, explaining her concerns and offering alternatives. This approach not only respected her daughter’s feelings but also reinforced the importance of safety and boundaries.

Carrie’s journey with improv also highlighted the value of embracing failure and resilience. As her daughter watched her perform on stage, sometimes succeeding and sometimes failing, she learned that it’s okay to make mistakes and that perseverance is key. This lesson translated into her daughter’s own pursuits, as she became a singer-songwriter and performer, embracing the ups and downs of her creative journey.

The playful spirit of improv has also permeated Carrie’s everyday interactions with her daughter. From playing improv games to having deep, meaningful conversations, their relationship has been enriched by the principles of improv. This playful approach has fostered a strong bond between them, built on trust, empathy, and mutual respect.

For parents, caregivers, and educators, Carrie’s story offers valuable insights into the power of improv in parenting. By embracing empathy, active listening, and the principles of “Yes, And,” we can create a supportive and nurturing environment for our children. Improv teaches us to be present, to validate our children’s feelings, and to build on their ideas, fostering creativity, resilience, and strong relationships.

Carrie’s experience also underscores the importance of parents having their own interests and pursuits. By engaging in activities that bring them joy and fulfillment, parents can model a balanced and well-rounded life for their children. This not only enriches the parent-child relationship but also teaches children the value of pursuing their passions and maintaining a sense of individuality.

In conclusion, the lessons of improv can transform the way we approach parenting. By embracing empathy, active listening, and the principles of “Yes, And,” we can create a nurturing and supportive environment for our children. Improv teaches us to be present, to validate our children’s feelings, and to build on their ideas, fostering creativity, resilience, and strong relationships. So, the next time you find yourself facing a parenting challenge, remember the lessons of improv. Embrace the unexpected, listen with empathy, and say “Yes, And” to the wonderful journey of parenting.

The Playful Art of Parenting: Lessons from Alan Hawkins

The Playful Art of Parenting: Lessons from an Improv Master

In the bustling cities of Los Angeles and Chicago, Alan Hawkins has been a beacon of creativity and spontaneity. An experienced improviser, Alan has been performing, directing, and teaching theater and improv since 2004. His journey into the world of improv began long before he had children, but it was his experience teaching teens that profoundly shaped his parenting style.

Alan's approach to parenting is deeply rooted in the principles of improv, emphasizing the importance of creating experiences rather than merely imparting lessons. He discovered that teens, often overwhelmed with lessons, benefit more from engaging experiences that allow them to learn through play. This approach has helped him connect with his kids and create a fun and engaging environment at home.

One of the key lessons Alan learned from teaching teens is that experiences are more impactful than lessons. Teens are often overwhelmed with lessons, and adding more can just become noise. Instead, Alan focuses on creating experiences that allow his children to learn and grow through play. This approach has helped him connect with his kids and create a fun and engaging environment at home.

Alan's improvisational skills have also taught him the importance of knowing when to engage and when to step back. As a professional improviser, Alan understands the value of letting his scene partners take the lead and knowing when his presence is not needed. This skill has translated into his parenting, allowing him to recognize when his children need space to explore and learn on their own.

While improv has been a valuable tool in Alan's parenting, he acknowledges that it is not always applicable. During times of grief, such as the unexpected passing of his mother, Alan found that listening and being present were more important than trying to inject fun into the situation. The principles of improv, such as listening and being in the moment, still played a crucial role in helping his family navigate difficult times.

Alan's advice to new parents is to recognize that everything their child says is exactly what their heart needs to hear, good or bad. He emphasizes the importance of handling situations in small incremental steps and being present in the moment. By fostering creativity and innovation, parents can help their children become well-rounded individuals capable of dealing with whatever challenges they may face.

Alan's approach to parenting through improv offers valuable insights into creating a fun, engaging, and supportive environment for children. By embracing the principles of improv, parents can turn parenting into play and help their children grow into creative and imaginative individuals.

You can learn more about Alan Hawkins at: www.alanhawkinsimprov.com

Get his book “You Can't Learn Improv From a Book” at: https://amzn.to/3PSl8Im

Improv Your Parenting: Turning Challenges into Play With Kat Koppett

Improv Your Parenting: Turning Challenges into Play

Welcome to the world of Improv Your Parenting, where the art of improvisation meets the everyday challenges of raising children. Today, we dive into the insights shared by Kat Koppett, a renowned expert in using improv and storytelling techniques to enhance individual and group performance. Kat's journey as a parent and her professional experience offer valuable lessons for parents seeking to navigate the unpredictable terrain of parenting with creativity and grace.

Embracing the Unexpected

Kat's most important experience with improvisation comes from her role as a mother. Her daughter, now 21 years old, has successfully navigated life's challenges, including co-parenting after Kat's marriage ended when her daughter was five. Kat's story highlights the importance of embracing the unexpected and improvising through life's twists and turns. She recalls a poignant moment when her daughter wanted to paint her pristine white dresser, a gift from Kat's mother. Despite initial hesitation, Kat's improvisational impulse led her to say "yes" and support her daughter's creative expression. The result was a chaotic yet beautiful dresser that made her daughter's dream come true.

The Power of Improv in Parenting

Improv teaches us to say "yes and" to our children's ideas and impulses, even when they seem unconventional. Kat emphasizes that being an improvisational parent doesn't mean agreeing to everything but rather finding ways to support and build on our children's offers. For example, if her daughter suggested playing in traffic, Kat would have found a safer alternative that still honored her daughter's desire for adventure. This approach fosters a sense of agency and ownership in children, helping them feel heard and valued.

Creating a Safe Environment

Kat's experience in the The Mop & Bucket Company (an improv theater) and her work with children in various settings underscore the importance of creating a safe environment for expression. She likens this to building a jungle gym where children can swing and play freely within safe boundaries. By providing structure and focus, parents can help their children direct their energy and creativity. This balance between freedom and safety is crucial for fostering growth and self-expression.

Personalizing Parenting

Kat's approach to parenting is deeply personalized, recognizing that each child has unique needs and preferences. Her daughter, for instance, thrived in a structured environment, balancing the chaos of improv with the discipline of ballet. Kat's ability to follow her daughter's lead and provide the necessary support highlights the importance of paying attention to our children's individual needs and co-creating a parenting style that works for them.

The Next One Thing

For new parents feeling overwhelmed, Kat offers a simple yet powerful piece of advice: focus on the next one thing. Parenting is a journey of co-creation, where each moment builds on the last. By paying attention and responding to our children's immediate needs, we can navigate the uncertainties of parenting with confidence and creativity.

Conclusion

Kat Koppett's insights remind us that parenting is an improvisational art, where the script is constantly evolving. By embracing the unexpected, creating a safe environment, and personalizing our approach, we can turn the challenges of parenting into opportunities for play and growth. So, let's say "yes and" to our children's dreams and see where the journey takes us.

 For more information about Kat you can find her information here: 

https://www.koppett.com/kat-koppett