In the ever-evolving journey of parenthood, the landscape is often unpredictable, filled with a mix of exhilarating highs and trying lows. Burgert Kirsten, an applied improvisational play educator and parent, provides a compelling narrative on how bringing elements of play, acceptance, and adaptability into family life can transform the parenting experience. In this post, we explore the insights shared in a recent interview with Burgert, focusing on themes like letting go, embracing play, and being open to the unforeseen.
The Power of Letting Go
One of the core principles Burgert emphasizes is the art of letting go, which is essential not only in improvisation but also in parenting. "Part of accepting is letting go," Burgert explains. This mindset can be particularly relevant when faced with the boundless unknowns that parenting presents. In the chaos that accompanies raising children, the ability to release preconceived plans or expectations allows us to adapt and grow alongside our kids.
"Let go of who you need to be to let them become who they will be," Burgert says. Acknowledging the fluidity of our children's growth and permitting them to unfold into their unique selves without projecting our unfulfilled dreams onto them can be liberating for both the parent and the child.
Embracing Play
Burgert's entire approach to life and parenting is rooted in playfulness. He believes that "Play is a natural state for us; to learn is play." This notion is not just about having fun; it’s about fostering a mindset that can handle challenges creatively and with resilience.
In their household, Burgert and his family engage in board games, improv games, and simple role-playing activities. These playful interactions not only strengthen their bond but also empower the kids to navigate the world with innovative and confident spirits. His two-year-old's reluctance to dress can turn into a joyful moment when pants become bunny ears, transforming a mundane task into a delightful experience.
Acceptance: A Pathway to Growth
Acceptance, especially within the context of parenthood, is a recurring theme in Burgert's narrative. He notes, "Acceptance is about allowing the fullness of what is, without resisting it." Whether it involves accepting a child's tantrum or embracing the reality of financial constraints, the practice of acceptance can lead to deeper familial connections.
Burgert shares personal stories that reflect this philosophy, such as when he and his wife made the pivotal decision to embrace a fourth child, Kai. The initial struggle to accept the financial and environmental implications slowly transitioned into an appreciation of the miraculous joy and learning that their new addition brought. Acceptance, in his view, is both a path to peace and a gateway to richer life experiences.
Openness to the Unforeseen
Being open to what arises, as Burgert expresses through his experiences, can provide transformative and enriching possibilities. When expectations meet the reality of four children, there are times when embracing the unexpected results in the most profound life lessons.
His story of their surprise during the pandemic, a time which for many seemed daunting, became an opportunity for closeness and understanding. These changes proved a fertile ground for growth and reflection, shaping their family narrative into one of resilience and joy.
Burgert’s tale highlights the importance of maintaining openness and curiosity, viewing each child not as an extension of ourselves but as a new adventure. "Each child is like the ocean – mysterious and full of potential," he observed, reflecting on the depth and unknowable nature of the parenting journey.
Cultivating a Systemic View
Burgert advocates for viewing the family as a dynamic system, a notion inspired by Belina Raffi's systemic approach. This perspective allows parents to step back and see their family as a dynamic entity, rich in creativity and life, despite its imperfect nature. It’s a refreshing take that invites parents to find humor and grace in the everyday chaos.
"Look at how funny it is," Burgert suggests when the family system feels chaotic. Recognizing these moments as potential scenes in a comedic play can provide levity, offering a new lens through which to engage with family life.
Creating Together
Burgert encourages parents to engage in processes that cultivate creativity and connection. Whether through game-based scenarios or embracing improvisation's principles of 'Yes, and...', the focus is on crafting stories and relationships that support growth and connection.
"The job of the parent isn't to control every outcome but to create a space where children can discover for themselves," he believes. Parenting through play, acceptance, and grace doesn't mean a lack of structure, but rather the freedom to build resilient and loving family bonds.
As Burgert conveys, authentic growth stems from embracing the journey's uncertainties with an open heart and a playful spirit. So, dance with your children through the beautiful, chaotic play of life, embracing grace at every step.
Through Burgert Kirsten's vibrant perspective, we learn that the art of parenting could well be distilled into the art of improv: accepting whatever comes your way, letting go of control, and creating joy out of life’s countless surprises. Accept the challenge, embrace the play, and above all, engage with the grace inherent in every parenting moment.